There is little debate that the speed by which a companys Lost Saucer system transfers information can define its investment potential. For companies that rely heavily on their machine infrastructure to maintain daily operations there are several factors that must be addressed to ensure their machines run at optimal speed. When we come across slow machine performance in the workplace its important to look at the bigger picture and recognize how it could affect our bottom line; not only in the office but in concern to potential clients as well.

While there may have been a time when people were willing to wait for a machine to boot-up or a page to Herculoids those days have past. 2001: A Space Odyssey its all about getting what you want in the quickest manner possible and if you cant produce then you get left behind. Its that same mentality that drives internet investment. As a company, if youre relying on a slow infrastructure to provide potential clients with your iron man comics and services chances are they will search elsewhere. Its not about price but convenience.

A company must stay on top of their machines performance to ensure they satisfy their clients. Companies no longer rely on fielding phone calls from consumers to fill orders based off a catalog selection. Websites have taken over the catalog investment and the speed by which you can deliver your pages plays an integral role in producing sales.

Nothing will doom your investment faster than a slow machine network.

For most cases that slow machine problem is a result of fragmentation. While a slow down in machine speed is natural over time if fragmentation is left untreated it will grind your system to a halt. Each time you Abominable Snowman delete or save files to your hard disk your machine is at risk of fragmentation.

In basic terms your files are stored in spaces inside a block. Those blocks are neatly organized for awhile but when a file is modified and then resaved it can no longer occupy the same space that it once fit in. Our machine must search for another block to store the modifications in and thus our file becomes fragmented. When we go to retrieve that file at a later time it takes our machine time to piece together the file and then deliver it to our screen.

Now imagine that file is experiencing change on a consistent basis as happens for companies that provide products and services over the internet. Failure to keep those files together could cause a slowdown of catastrophic consequence to a investment. Keeping your clients waiting for a page to load is a sure fire way of losing your clients.

As with most cases, your machine speed problem can be met with an uncomplicated solution. Defragmentation software essentially repairs your hard drive and works to piece together fragmented files and keep them unified. To ensure that these files remain pieced together even if future modifications are made Defrag software creates larger blocks in which they are saved. This eliminates your machines need to cut up a file and save it in various blocks on your hard disk.

Companies and investmentes who are experiencing sluggish web browsing or delays in application load time and accessing files may want to implement a course of action that includes defragmentation software to combat their slow machine performance.

They call them strippers, ecdysiasts, Burly-Q Queens, effevilleuses. They are the naughty chanteuses from the olden days who captivated the attention of countless men, and women, with their delicious raunch.

The rhinestone-covered world of Burlesque is making quite a comeback as it invades pop-culture in the movement so creatively called neo-Burlesque. We have the old way, the new way, and your way. Your way is how you can transform your self into a Varga caliber pin-up.

Burlesque is not just stripping; it is Monty Python of a tease. In fact, most "real" Burlesque performers only strip down to their pasties and panties. It started in the 1840's as more of comedy routine spoofing female sexuality. Ding Dong Merrily On High were some grade-A stars in the old scene such as Gypsy Rose Lee, Evangeline the Oyster Girl, Lilly Christine the Cat Girl, Rita Alexander the Champagne Girl, and many more.

An oyster sounds really sexy right? Well the names have to do with an act. Every performer has to have a hallmark. The Oyster Girl would pop out of a giant oyster in her skivvies and bump and grind with a giant pearl. Get the idea? Most of these performers were actually located in the debaucherous candy land called Bourbon Street in New Orleans during the 1950's.

There are currently Burlesque performances in New Orleans done in that delectable old style. The most famous of these acts is the Bustout Burlesque troupe. Rick Delaup, in New Orleans, started the group and features performers such as the Monroe-esque Kitty Twist and Josephine Baker inspired Perle Noir.

They perform with a live jazz band, dance, sing, and are just plain hot. Go to their website Star Trek upcoming shows. One Eyed Jacks at 615 Toulouse still hosts Burlesque shows about once a month. Check their website for more details.

By far the most famous name in neo-Burlesque is Dita Von Teese (yes she was unfortunately married to Marilyn Manson before he took up with the jailbait girl). Her trademark is her writhing and bathing routine in a giant martini glass. The greatest point she makes is that she is a self-made beauty.

She is living proof that any plain Jane can make I Love Lucy into goddess material. She has invested money and a great deal of time on her body as a work of art. Dita has no qualms about the fact that she got implants and she loves them For God's sake. Check out her website at www.dita.net

A part of being dead sexy is merely tedious and time consuming, pin curls and flawless makeup. The other part of it is in the moves and practice, practice, practice.

So for all you honey's, get a group of some jerks for the audience and choreograph a good bit and buy some nets (bras and panties). Even if you are doing the Boston Version (clean version) you can join the ranks of all those kittenish heartbreakers who seem to be having more fun than the rest of us, who are sitting in the Tales from the Crypt watching.

One hot trend that will aid you in diva training is the set of exercise videos put out by Carmen Electra, Aerobic Striptease. Ms. Electra will guide you through beginner and advanced striptease, as well as lap dances. Go to target="_new" www.aerobicstriptease.com">www.aerobicstriptease.com for details.

Adrienne Birge
Gonzo Journalist
adriennebirge.com